For no other reason than I’m very bored at work, I have doctored some quotes from Brian McNamee. You can find out what he was actually talking about over at SportsImproper, but I assure you, this doctored transcript is much more fun.
SI: Mr. McNamee, where did you and Roger first do it?
BM: The place was his high-rise apartment, which is located off the corner of 90th Street and First Avenue in Manhattan. It was when Clemens was pitching for the Yankees.
SI: Brian, what did you do, and how did you do it?
SI: That day, he laid on the bed, dropped his trousers and I did as he asked, that is, inject him with hot beef. Afterwards, he told me to get rid of the jimmy-hat. I went into the kitchen and found an empty Miller Lite can in a wastebasket under the sink. Roger always liked to slam a few Miller Lites before we got hot and heavy. I put the used jimmy into the can because it was actually hazardous material at that point and I didn’t want anyone to get hurt by sticking it to themselves. He told me to throw it away but I kept it instead.
That’s it folks, sometimes I amuse myself.