Posts tagged with: Steroids

A-Rod Linked To Banned Trainer, Brad Penny Has Cool Friends

More details are starting to emerge around Alex Rodriguez‘s use of steroids during his three seasons in Texas.  Not that anyone should be surprised by the news of A-Rod’s name being linked to a trainer banned by MLB, he did after all admit two weeks ago that he had cheated.

Angel Presinal was a Dominican trainer who was banned by MLB in 2001 after he was caught with a duffel bag full of human heads… er steroids sorry.  The list of players that have also worked with Persinal in the past should raise a few eyebrows and includes: Pedro Martinez, David Ortiz, Vladimir Guerrero, Bartolo Colon, Miguel Tejada, Adrian Beltre and Jose Guillen.

Looks Can Be Deceiving:

At first glance, one might suspect that Brad Penny‘s friends may be of the type that sit around with cowboy boots on and a spittoon nearby only lifting a finger for some more “chaw” or a can of beer.  So it came as somewhat of a surprise to learn that he had recently rented a home in Cabo and shared it with curvaceous pornstar Jayden James (not to be confused with the child of Britney Spears) and her “boyfriend” fallen MMA star Chuck Liddell.

You can see Ms. James talk about the grand time they had in Cabo in this YouTube clip, or better yet listen to her talk about some more interesting aspects of her day-to-day life.


A-Roid Owes Carlos Delgado an MVP

Flashback to 2003, the American League’s MVP was a noted dickhead on a last-place Texas Rangers team.

Present day, said Dickhead’s name arises as one that tested positive for steroids during his first of three MVP seasons.

First of all, Alex Rodriguez should not have won the AL MVP that season, it should have been Carlos Delgado regardless of the news of Rodriguez’s alleged positive test.  Let’s examine:

Ass-Rod led the league in home runs (47), runs scored (124), and slugging percentage (.600) in 2003.  He finished with a .298 batting average and 118 RBI.  Despite Rodriguez’s juiced-up effort, the Texas Rangers finished last in the American League West with a 71-91 record.

The 2003 Toronto Blue Jays finished third in the unfairly competitive American League East with 86-76 record.  Carlos Delgado finished second in MVP voting that season and his numbers stand-up to Dickhead’s.  Delgado led the American League with 145 RBI, batted .302, and knocked out 42 home runs.  He also scored 117 runs, and slugged .593.  There’s an argument there for a better season, and Delgado’s output was much more valuable to his team than A-Rod’s last place effort.

We could look at the numbers all day, but we need only to examine the fact that Rodriguez was using steroids, never mind that he’s a fucking cock-sucking jerk, to realize that Delgado was more deserving of the MVP award.

Bonds’ Dirty Urine, Clemens’ Tainted DNA

Sometimes I just wish it would just go away, but seeing as most teams are still treading cautiously this off-season, I’m left with little choice but to report on players accused of juicing.  Who am I kidding, I love this shit.

According to a report from The New York Times, one of Barry Bonds‘ 2003 urine samples was retested by federal authorities and it was positive for “performance enhancing drugs”.  Apparently, the sample was originally tested by MLB and was not positive under their program, but this time around it tested positive.  I bet Barry’s defense team is going to have a field-day with this at his perjury trial.  Positive or not, I’m sure Barry was still taking the drugs “unknowingly”.

Just plead gamma poisoning!

From the twisted basement of Brian McNamee comes dirty needles tainted with the DNA of Roger Clemens that McNamee shot into Clemens’ ass.  According to a report that first surfaced in the Washington Post, tests have matched Clemens’ DNA to that of blood in a syringe that Brian McNamee claims to have used to inject “The Rocket” with steroids.  You can read all about on ESPN.

Clemens’ lawyer Rusty (Hard-On) Hardin was quick to dismiss the tests saying:

“It will still be evidence fabricated by McNamee, I would be dumbfounded if any responsible person ever found this to be reliable or credible evidence in any way.”

I don’t know Rusty, after reading this bit about Clemens having liniment rubbed on his nut-sack I placed a lot more faith in McNamee’s accounts of dealing with Roger’s backdoor.